Born three months premature 
Cerebral palsy, no cure, blood impure 
hated mirrors, afraid of my own glare 
owned the fear, because of that 
I walked with a thousand yard stare 
it’s hard to share the pain 
where to place the blame 
of how you get to a place 
where you hate your own face 
mixed race, disavowed sin 
drowning in my brown and white skin 
settled in mundane phases 
escaped through books 
escaped through paintings 
sculpted anguish from broken language 
hope and hatred roped in habits 
that I wasn’t a real Mexican 
because I didn’t speak Spanish 
tell that to cops, tell that to teachers 
tell that to preachers 
who told me I’d be saved 
if I prayed to a white Jesus 
navigated seasons trying to fit in 
the only respite was with my black friends 
my dark skinned father 
was the pinnacle of cynic 
pushing me to date white women 
because he thought they were rich 
and had a clean image 
for years I couldn’t pin it 
constructs tried to make me 
a slave to oppression and the system 
then I found the rhythm 
they said I’d never walk, I did it 
they said I’d be dead by 25 
I’m alive and living 
they said I’d make nothing of rap, I’m spittin’ 
I did it, I’ve done it all 
Ive broken down the walls 
breathe and pause 
once lost in the jaws of hell 
compelled to expel the generational curse 
and prove my own worth

Two alcoholic fathers 
Haven’t spoken to Mom in 5 or 6 years 
should have wrote this off 5 or 6 beers 
the truth is, 
this came after 5 or 6 tears 
rebuilt self 
after struggling with mental health 
finally displayed emotions 
on a level shelf 
selling my mettle for spiritual wealth 
they crucified Jesus 
just so white supremacy 
could wear his skin as pelt 
sin is felt deep within my bones 
trying to hit different astral planes and zone 
so my soul can finally find a home 
with full attention on self reflection 
tried to save a lot women 
but how could I save them 
if I couldn’t save myself? 
in my dreams pacing Orion’s Belt 
let the hollows melt until the pain is felt 
playing the shameless cards I was dealt 

Pain, rage, growth, pain 
Sun after rain, win, lose or draw 
play the numbers game 
play the numbers game

This second verse 
will address the hurt 
and self imposed curse 
placed on my daughter, as your father 
you got my best pieces 
but also my worst demons 
keep breathin’ and play each day 
as new life leases to unlock your secrets 
I’m sorry your transformation 
started in your mother’s imagination 
and my pitiful exaggerations 
our communication became complacent 
your heart became a weight station 
for our mistakes 
that’s the reason it aches 
don’t be afraid to chase happiness 
in the face of depression 
you may never disconnect it 
but never let it 
stop you from breaking tension 
take each lesson as a step 
to your new direction 
remember self reflection 
I’ll always be 
the one you can run to 
no matter what, I will always love you

Salute DOOM, hot spoons 
smooth over beef rap 
like yo son, we don’t need that 
arthritis in the knee caps, my speech snaps 
Rudy Ray Moore blaxploitation 
my pen bleeds big boy hatred 
Channel 66, the inspiration 
don’t you dare change it 
my dads drunk, escape the anguish one way 
thank god it’s Kung fu Sunday 
bask in the sun blaze, night fall hits 
out comes the fists and gun play 
bruises on the rib cage 
older me clicks the gauge 
pain was coming of age 
liquored up or sober 
got smacked up for falling over 
my range of motion was viewed as weakness 
trapped in the stillness 
born to a man who didn’t understand illness 
scorned by the bleak shit 
years later, reach for the pill hits 
it still sits deep inside my mind 
violence forever apart of my design 
looking for signs and escape routes 
to kill off the self doubt 
with the words that come from my mouth 

Held hostage in Hell’s mosh pit 
My two fathers 
One didn’t bother 
The other was a monster 
They both lived the same mantra 
To breed hate 
Making sure love was the imposter 
 

Death proof, soup and chilling 
lord willing, life keeps living, mighty moves 
‘92 Jordan’s had me feeling fire proof 
where I’m from the guns go pop 
in my my later years 
surrounded by Funko pops 
alone with my thoughts 
when the sun glow drops 
swimming in records of legends 
getting lost in within the expressions 
disconnecting from bastard majesty 
escaped the broken role model 
I got from the step father factory 
magically, I paint visions of escapism 
sitting as an inmate in this made prison 
lay with the blade twitching 
listening to father number two 
abuse my mother in the kitchen 
no choice but to stay vivid, my brains livid 
fame kisses my name 
as the pain lane switches 
cashing in drained wishes 
that the pain listens

Once fell in love with someone 
who put junk in their veins 
blood paints art through the jugular pain 
my brain sprung from the childish game 
when our lips once touched 
while she was on that succulent plane 
pumped with lust 
like it’s my time to be saved 
slave to the passion 
primed to be laid, so I cashed in 
from what I thought was true love 
born from chasing the dragon 
there’s no escape an addict won’t stand in 
whispers in the dark, closed caption 
going from taste to taste 
love song to a ghost crashing 
hoping the rush stayed forever lasting 

Pour a drink and raise it up, ghost 
Roll a blunt and blaze it up, ghost 
Love letters to the lost 
can’t make it up 
can’t make it up 
can’t make it up

Writing ghost love letters 
return to sender 
in the death of friendships 
and the art of dead enders 
focused strain through the words 
living, the great pretenders 
surrounded by the stench 
for as long as I can remember 
my lyrics live as my breath of life 
only a few will enter 
for how long? Who’s to say 
not much time or room to stay 
this is for Gajah, shout to Dumile 
living behind the mask 
wondering what DOOM will play 
god soothes the pain 
weed mutes the brain 
while the sun in my heart 
disputes the rain

Blood stained clothes of the tragic 
hit the laundry basket 
maneuvered with shooters 
was too scared to get blasted 
so I kept the blunts lit 
with zippos and match sticks 
a rose in concrete, penning classics 
product of my environment 
dodging entitlement, how survival fits 
elders telling me that heaven exists 
but no invite sent, spite death 
alcohol spiked breath 
who knows how many nights 
of insight I got left 
in my room smiting enemies 
from where God rests 
ah yes, the duality of man 
makes me heartless 
friends ducking charges 
no food in my stomach, fuckin’ hardships 
CPD moving targets 
GD’s and Vice Lords spark clips 
meanwhile my arts slick 
realm of a troubled youth 
rocking a bubble goose 
bangin the Wu-Tang W 
trying to feed my soul 
with some comfort food

Comfort food 
Food for the soul 
When your thoughts have no home 
Where do you go 
When the house of god leaves you alone

leaves you alone 
leaves you alone 
leaves you alone

As I cross the 40 threshold 
packing nothing but mental and metal 
turning flesh cold 
rocking fresh gold 
flexin’ pressed jeans and beaters 
pouring out drinks 
for homies in the ether 
3 finger ringers were the best teachers 
down to the pimps and street preachers 
rocking jeri curls and half moon ceaser’s 
class clown was my best feature 
getting noticed by girlies in the bleachers 
cuz my fits got cleaner and neater 
nothing like a fresh pair of sneakers 
dodging coffin feeders 
taking knowledge from leaders 
getting money from tweakers 
cracking parking meters for game 
getting paid was the aim 
winds of change came 
started to bang to maintain 
hold your breath 
hat broke to the left, taunting death 
moved in silence 
while others were talking mess 
feeling pressed 
failing tests, getting pinched 
hearing the county bars clinch

Sun colored Jordan’s 
soak in the calamity it’s gorgeous 
ripping wax, pass the torches 
been rhyming since Nas 
snuck an Uzi on the island and Wu Tang 
was signing five percenter science 
formed an alliance with gazelles 
sitting amongst the lions 
darkness sleeps when the sunrises 
God smiles down on the horizon 
even if my demons aren’t silenced 
grew up to escape the murder rate 
this is my Purple Tape 
bought with funds off the service plate 
scratch the serial 
bullets move past your head 
catch the burial live in stereo 
here we go, another walking miracle 
my march is imperial, Darth Vader 
fuck your saviors 
can’t wait to meet my maker 
I’m tired and feeling uninspired 
until it’s time for the last dance in hell’s fire

My thoughts have no home, here we go 
finding my soul, oh no 

My thoughts have no home, here we go 
I’m dying too slow, oh no

Haunted pianos pen vaunted preambles 
shattered dreams left in unseen shadows 
life is prefix for death 
I don’t want to die 
but I can’t wait for my last breath 
disconnect my souls stem 
from the doldrums of every day life 
bleed from the slice of Americana 
dull screams in my head with marijuana 
party with demons insecurities conjured 
insanity slows enough to ponder 
wander the land like a hopeless ronin 
open up my heart to God 
oh god, not God 
me and him are always at odds 
my faith is a ticking time bomb 
my life is a complex sign on 
with plenty of hills to die on 
drowning in a world full of icons 
sign off the scions who fight for 
war, pain, cash, drugs 
last one to die, turn off the light 
and cancel this plight

Don’t let those demons shame you 
I hope that hope hope can save you 
fuck that god we used to pray to 
he left the world to slay you 
I know the pain it changed you 
It fucking changed me too 
lots of death and anger 
to hastily graze through 
the memories strain it’s pretty painful 
sitting with selfish hatred in plain view 
life expecting you to play through 
estranged moves, life it caged you 
stay tuned, at least the art stayed true 
you changed to a ghost from different angles 
shadows drowning, found in addition 
admission, lonely minutes 
plus wars of attrition 
fighting friction inside the sickness 
I’ve tried to be there from a distance 
returning the support system 
like you did for me when I had the same visions 
the clock is ticking, now you’re playing chicken 
putting out fires in Hell’s Kitchen 
my heart is liquid 
hoping to get a call or message 
so we find the leverage to get reconnected 
I miss your love and friendship 
wishing I could share my successes 
emerging from the trenches 
see you on the next bender 
always remember, no matter what 
I’ll love you forever 

this is for my brother 
walking through the dark days 
this is for my brother 
fighting through the the dark ways 
this is for my brother 
fighting through the hard days 
this is for my brother 
walking through the hard ways 
this is for my brother

Once bought a tec with a body on it 
it took a life, I put a profit on it 
soldier of crooks and books 
threw some knowledge on it 
penning street topics 
graduated to drum loops and polyphonics 
pen and pad, watch me molly wop it 
getting high before the Bulls & SuperSonics 
live from game six 
after souls of friends lift to the abyss 
codes of streets switched 
in my world there was no Good Day blimp 
sick of death didn’t want to be next 
smoked out against the headrest 
reflect on the temptress, feeling neglect 
wondering if… 
the seed in her belly is mine or his? 
infatuation came and 
turned my life into graduation day 
looking to get paid 
now my daughter’s walking 
I start stocking my pockets 
with dough and logic from hydroponics 
no more nonsense, you fuck with mine 
you get to kiss the glock tip

Drawn from a broken stencil 
my end view is in the rear view 
endeared through as a stolen rental 
focused mental pushes my physical mettle 
dreams of bio mechanical metal 
fed through my exoskeleton 
tattoos scribed on my skin 
to distract from my melanin 
pain swings like an anchored pendulum 
molecular structures of muscles 
hustles down a beaten path 
my face hides the pain 
underneath an uneven mask 
every day my strength is leaving fast 
reaching for the flask and pain pills 
my souls crushed, the pain kills 
my brain aims faith at the strained ills 
my body is an anvil 
steps are mountains climbing up an anthill 
sleep is a scant thrill, crawling to a stand still 
my fight against the chronic pain 
is done with moxie, every second mocks me 
coupled with cerebral palsy 
the countdown to death haunts me 
moments of relief taunt me 
in a hospital bed on the mend, breaths paltry 
the sun rises again 
feeling saucy after sponge baths 
return to the streets ducking gun claps 
whatever god owes me, he better run that 
in the next life, I want a stunt man 
until then, I’m in a psychotic stance 
hoping to rebuilt as a bionic man

Came home with 150 in my pocket 
starting over, heartbroken and jobless 
fighting depression and logic 
surviving in hell’s mosh pit 
clean slate locked in, clock tick tockin 
pain was coming of age 
while my demons played 
in the blood of the slain 
images of failure burned in my brain 
never feeling worthy of praise 
freed from my cage 
smoke and mirrors 
plus liquid courage fueled my rage 
burned both sides of the flame 
fed game because I was told 
the heavens were there to uplift you 
not pin you beneath the surface 
waiting for the real world 
to up the heat on the furnace 
couldn’t find service in churches 
that shit made me nervous 
well wish wishes coming from lurkers 
my souls murdered 
seconds tick as currency 
to pay off the death merchants 
stay behind the turret 
to avoid the slaughter 
failed my label, failed my daughter 
smothered by my father and mother 
I became a ghost in the shell 
in his own personal hell 
inhabited by another person 
a different version 
kissed by bliss and ignorance 
while I’m left alone to lift 
the generational curses 
while I suffer in silence 
and pretend everything is perfect 
amongst the suckers in the soul circus

My cat reached out to touch me 
feeling punchy, loops dusty 
suckers always talking about moves 
I’m trying to get rich in my house shoes 
life exposed over down grooves 
concrete jungles are renowned news 
it’s too late for you 
if gun shots are sound proof 
muggy junkie brown tooth 
quiet moves, pen loud truth 
endowed roots, cinema reel spoken 
I’m poetry in motion 
Ice Cube hittin the three wheel motion 
Iron Trojan, money isn’t evil 
it’s the hands attached to the enemy 
flow changer 
spittin, no brainers like a Kennedy 
speak in a semi speech 
like Pharaohe Monch flow patterns 
closed caption bone shatter 
catching shots from chrome blasters 
hold a gold chain flow masters 
went from broke bastard to so lavish 
closing out old chapters 
dreams to retire on the beach 
flow silky smooth, Magnifique

Chewbacca Chief Rocka 
Han Solo fur coats 
God body wisdom windmills 
my odd body churns smoke 
bloodline is Mexican birthed dope 
sun signs burns scope 
hope hangs on by a thin rope 
my skin is cream sin soaked 
cash rules everything around me 
past moves, god forgot about me 
scream loudly as stress overtakes 
struggling to pay rent 
wondering where the day went 
stay bent, no other choices 
to smother out the voices 
once the voice of the voiceless 
bullets cancel out the noises 
drowning out my voice pitch 
of course it’s surviving crash courses 
torches coincide with rhymes like dimes 
keep a box cutter on the center line 
for when I open up minds 
with my Operation Doomsday 
copulation soufflé eases the mood pain 
I wrote this to dead bent 
won’t stop until I get every red cent

Lamon said write a kama sutra 
of pizza eating positions 
back went out again, vicious 
got nothing to go on but intuition 
outliving God so I have the last sentence 
fuck a last word, pen burns hallucinogenic 
words so prophetic, after it’s over 
me and the heavens became telekinetic 
forever indebted to my indexes 
visions of my grandmother injecting medicine 
screaming protect your melanin 
jail cellin’ it, spiritual celibate 
death bed ridden sin 
loving the pain my soul was written in 
bathing in tears my heart is sitting in 
expressing my rage through rekindled pens until my end 
transcend doldrums pumped in brain stems 
falling in love with my shot gun limp 
from the land of marks and pimps 
selling my story with a sharkish grin 

Just me and my demons (yeah) 
Get on down, get on down 
Just me and my demons (yeah) 
Get on down, get on down 
Just me and my demons (yeah) 
Get on down, get on down 
Just me and my demons (yeah)

Multi syllabic christenings 
school of Raebonics for the win 
spitting blood against the wind 
searching for the fire within 
Autonomy Music spins within A Trains 
into Manhattan, Fantastic Damage 
padded for the pain junkies and addicts 
hiding from sunlight, crying in the mattress 
Air Maxes, fire and matches 
matches the desire to pull ourselves higher 
black and brown sires ripped from their thrones 
souls spun through the globe 
as their identity is bled from their throats 
guns in the overcoat 
collecting souls for the ghosts 
starting wars from the money post 
PTSD from the concrete rose, 
I arose to new heights, fight or flight 
back packing with my demons 
in the dead of night, out of sight 
living this life, living this life

I only rocked Blackhawk jerseys for the trash talk 
brash walk, machetes and hack saws 
I never gave a fuck about Stanley Cups 
duck bullets that blew death kisses 
breath hinges on hisses, then misses 
shape shiftin’, change pitches 
blades kill some 
while others inhale gun smoke 
in Deadpool’s like Wade Wilson 
Guillotine got its seeds 
from Company Flow & EPMD 
we are the lineage others pretend to be 
blood on the crown with the head 
as the center piece 
bars bang like a dusted car chase 
when Angel took a chainsaw 
to the head in Scarface 
linguistics are gangster scientific 
end your career in a New York minute 
going for the finish 
to be amongst the greatest ever listed 
from Chitown to SINY 
in the end I leave your neck severed 
screaming Wu Tang Forever 
injected with the blood of legends

I’m just pieces of a broken man 
from a broken system and broken land 
smoking aces, fired from a potent hand 
quoted love songs from an open land 
fighting what this world has come to 
lightning striking quick because fate 
it wants to love you from its bubble 
saving me from drowning and going under 
frozen winters turned to focused summers 
hopeless visions cloaked in hope is 
peeling back emotions through hosted muses 
smelling roses, my mind is lighting fuses igniting fighting music 
auto pilot driving lucid to my life’s conclusion 
thankful for feeling movement 
forgiving God for being mostly ruthless 
besides my daughter and a few others 
it’s mostly putrid 
stolen moments laying in my death bed fearless 
with the reaper as my kindred spirit 
no matter what stand tall 
because they can’t kill us all

I wear my scars as armor 
a product of bars and smoke parlors 
tattoos reflect sin of a martyr 
daily me and god bartered 
on whether or not 
I should fold or walk harder 
born under Carter, my era was made famous 
by the pain Reagan painted 
feeling shamed and caged in 
the streets were a haven 
moving through slums searching for crumbs 
a genetic dump my limp said 
I was too young to walk with shotgun pumps 
Mexican born, I held a crown of thorns 
feeling the scorn of not speaking Spanish 
I gravitated to hip hop and black kids 
they understood and made my pain vanish 
being included in the movement 
made me feel super human 
it gave me protection from having my weakness dissected 
words I projected became representation 
for the anger and anguish 
felt by my neighborhood nation 
wishing I could save them all 
with peace and salvation

Moving through conspiracies and ultra violence 
dampen culture and science 
the vultures are non compliant 
human rights became defiant 
love, labor screams inside the echo chamber 
boiling over with anger, what’s the angle? 
anti mask, anti black, anti vaccine 
more blood streams flood the streets 
no justice, no peace, no compassion 
tear gas quells the action, no reaction 
attacked with lies and fake news 
life and freedom, this is take two 
history will know where to place you 
make peace with the Gods you pray to 
time will erase you 
I’m from where the just and fair stands 
I will forever destroy your hate with my bare hands

Sit back, watch the paranoia overtake 
can’t shake these god damn shakes 
bitten by the snakes 
feel the venom raise the stakes 
skate around the stench of death 
clutching my last breath 
is this my end? 
friends stab me in the back 
they didn’t think my soul would stand 
lost women who claimed to be a catch 
afraid to react when my heart attacked 
expect me to pick you up 
when your emotions crashed 
a hopeless mass, broken stash, open cash 
I hope it lasts, frozen raps 
rolling with homies that know the truth 
killing rappers in the vocal booth 
speaking in coded roots 
Guillotine heads rolling through 
watch me bestow it 
I know it, but now they know I know it

Woke up to a new era 
welcome to the terror dome 
where nuclear winter burn slow 
give up your dough 
and everything you own 
here's a toast for gambling with your soul 
politics play out over newscast and television shows 
bagging up hatred and selling it as dope 
trading melanin for hope 
choking on elements of rope 
hold my smoke 
while I calibrate this scope 
center rage 
better aim 
enter fame 
letters played for the revolution 
nothing's conclusive 
protect one another 
they got the guns 
we got the numbers 
looks like we're in for another hot summer

Soldier of rap culture 
hills to die on 
kill these slang vultures 
bullet holes and lipstick 
arraign my framed poster 
tight around loose lips 
fuck a flag 
my moods gripped by quarantined vibes 
serpentine wind through the minds grind 
as the lines dry like the blood of my pen died 
speak to dominant dreamers 
Mexican brown reefer 
as my new leader, Infinity stone seizure 
cinematic vision as my dome pleaser 
Guillotine is so ether 
your souls can’t reach us 
like leper’s who need Jesus 
let my name reign for all seasons

Push the envelope 
swing the pendulum 
pens coated in adamantium 
weapon x survivor 
making my walk through hell fire 
all the more liver 
got god reclined in the clutch of Scott Steiner 
Guillotine Scream Phoenix 
my cannibal ox fiendish through all season’s 
sick of blood in the streets, it ain’t scenic 
shatter the glass ceiling, pick up the pieces 
slash the throats of my demons 
as a beacon of hope, slow to a slow coast 
admire the pictures I painted over the years 
facing my ears, fighting back tears 
siphoning fears into gasoline speeches 
to rattle these leeches 
kill your masters and embody new leaders 
watch their words burn into the ether 
mess with my family, you’re greeted with 
red dots, heat seekers and cleavers 
pumped with holes until your body seizures 
meet earth, buried in my hills to die on 
Ghostface killing it, face covered in nylon

Ignorance makes me want to leave Twitter 
shutdown the whole system 
and let the rhythm hit ‘em 
surrounded by absurd turns 
the world burns in the viral surge 
some white kid threads the needle 
with N words claiming that he’s equal 
connections with people is illusion 
cruising the echo chamber for bangers 
dodging anger from wannabe stars 
falling in love with avatars 
experience marred from false hope 
cerebral dope, non matching GOATS 
and cut throat facts, sit back, 
to watch people react 
to hot trash takes from newscasts 
like the world is full of iconoclasts 
bask in my lineage of underground rap 
digital dap and thirst traps 
grab the burner 
Guillotines crashed the server 
shoutout to Dart Adams and Hex Murda

My life's candor 
gets trapped in life patterns 
wrapped in mics rapture 
remain my pen master 
art dealer, street pastor 
ink anger bleed after 
sleep in the minds of strangers 
then dream after 
light cannabis to green pastures 
draw nightmares between screams, laughter 
breed factors for change 
engage in episodes of the strange 
that enslave the plane for advancement 
supply paint for grand standing 
living on a pixelated earth 
encased in bad graphics, craft magic 
beliefs of dominance creeped in opulence scenic profit binge 

ending hollow trends wearing graffiti on my skin 
drums of war escalate sonic bids 
mindful within, prideful within 
to reflect psycho revenge 
penning bars from hard marble 
Frida Kahlo scarred sorrow 
bangin street art like there’s no tomorrow

It’s the summer of ‘94 
hit the F&M store, looking for a score 
Maxell chrome tapes, post haste 
but I’m broke and got no papes 
in for the slow burn 
with hopes of no chase, move at a slow pace 
case the joint with my cousins 
scenario one when you got no budget 
fuck it, they take one aisle, I take the other 
my brother as look out as the runner 
don’t get caught, no going under 
scared of our mothers, not doing numbers 
heat had us feeling like new lovers 
ducking cameras like the two man cover 
move with the stealth I could muster 
so my demo tapes had that luster 
fuck these security guard busters 
FOR ALL YOU SUCKAS!

The further in life I get 
the less I remember 
looking to legends and mentors 
as my protector, peep the lecture 
take their gems and make em’ fresher 
feel the pressure, on a bender 
cuts to the bloody center 
billed for services rendered 
runnin’ jewels like Michael Render 
here’s where hope enters 
women popping over chrome fenders, 
dough catcher 
the window for success is so slender 
many won’t enter, world ender 
shot to your widows peak, the future’s bleak 
hear my speech at the epicenter 
Guillotine heavy weight contenders 
fate always remembers 
Heaven never was a lender 
she always comes for the cheddar 
keep 36 Chambers loaded like RZArector 
wake up to the sun’s glimmer 
sipping coffee from French pressers, 
penning letters